So I have finally gotten to a place where I am ready to take care of me. I have gotten rid of unsupportive boyfriend, good riddens. I have moved much closer to work, and am therefore no longer driving 40+ miles round trip everyday. This also means I'm closer to my family (as I've moved in with my cousins), am in a position to save money and get out of debt, and am finally in a place where I can truly grieve the loss of my friend without being judged and celebrate his memory as well.
I hadn't weighed myself (or gone to the gym - in hindsight super bad plan) since Cole passed away, and I'm pretty happy with the fact that I only gained 4 pounds. I started back to the gym last week and then came down with a pretty bad case of bronchitis a couple of days later...so that plan has been put on hold again.
I have been spending time with Poppet again. A lot of time. Daily time almost. I'm not scared to say this even knowing that he knows about the blog, even knowing that potentially will read this post...but when you know you know. I've known for a long time. This is the man I want to build a life with, and now the feelings are mutual. Several years ago I realized I had feelings for him, and while I made my feelings known, it wasn't right...so instead of being the scorned woman on the sidelines, I moved on and kept him in my life the way I could, as a friend, while I built a life for myself. Our friendship only continued to grow stronger, and I can say with 100% certainty that this man is as close to me as another human being can be. I can't imagine a better life than being with my best friend day in and day out. I can be silly, I can be serious, I can be in a bad mood, I can be pensive, I can be ME and I don't feel judged. We still work different shifts, but I can pretty much guarantee that everyday when I get off work I will talk to him when he wakes up, and that I will be up past my bedtime because I'm talking to him while he's at work. It's always been Poppet, and every other man I've had in my life was just a stand-in waiting for him to grow up, if you will.
Well, I guess that's all for now. My goal is to be better at blogging. I'm going to work on some goals, and post them, so look for that as my next blog.